Happy Summer Solstice to you darlin’! Today is a day that is all about shining bright and removing any lingering darkness. What is one of the top ways we perpetuate the darkness in our lives?
It’s by not utilizing the F Word:
Forgiveness is about release. It is an opportunity for you to experience peace. Remember, when you forgive, that does not mean you are condoning your own actions or those of another; it simply means you are ready to let go and move forward. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful gifts we can give others and ourselves.
One of the most inspiring stories of forgiveness comes from South Africa and the creation of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which allowed victims and perpetrators of the apartheid era to come together to tell their stories in order to create a path to forgiveness. In the words of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, chair of the commission:
“Instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose
to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and
reconciliation. . . .We were exhilarated as we heard people
who had suffered grievously, who by rights should have
been baying for the blood of their tormentors, utter words
of forgiveness, reveal an extraordinary willingness to work
for reconciliation, demonstrating magnanimity and nobility
of spirit. . . .Fundamentally, we are good; we are made
for love, for compassion, for caring, for sharing, for peace
and reconciliation, for transcendence, for the beautiful, for
the true and the good.”
We are all capable of forgiving.
I challenge you to take a forgiveness inventory:
• Is there anyone you need to forgive? Honestly assess whether or not you are ready to forgive. If not, ask yourself, “What needs to occur for me to be ready to forgive?” If possible, take action: perhaps you need to write a letter to let your true feelings out (even if this person is no longer living), or maybe you need to call the person and ask for an apology. Perhaps you need to adopt a new perspective about the situation that will allow space for forgiveness. “He was doing the best he could with the information he had” is one perspective that often helps my clients to forgive.
• Is there anything you need to forgive yourself for? Really look deep: perhaps you have been holding on to a mistake you made years ago. Make the decision to forgive yourself. Sometimes it’s helpful to write out your mistakes and burn the paper or to take a “forgiveness hike”in which you walk in nature to release your mistakes and forgive.
• Is there anyone you need forgiveness from? Allow this post to be a catalyst for you to seek that forgiveness. It is never too late to apologize.
Please feel free to spread the sunshine and share this article and leave a comment below. Let me know how you will use the F word…TODAY!